Vaulting Poles, Dreams and the Writing Life

White-knuckled, I grasp the top of the pole. I can feel my legs slipping down the bar and it frightens me. I glance down 100 feet to the bottom. My grip grows even tighter as I realize that I am afraid of heights.

The pole begins to wobble, then swing in a half-circle. I close my eyes; I don’t want to visually experience what is happening to me. Then the pole straightens and I feel momentary relief as it stands upright.

Before I can enjoy the end of my panic, the pole begins to move forward. I am more curious than I am frightened now. As I relax my grip, the pole begins to move faster and I feel an anxious tickle in my stomach. But I also feel exhilaration.

I look up and see beauty around me. I pass slowly by green meadows, woods, rolling hills, and majestic mountains. The scenery captures my attention and I no longer experience the anxiety.

My pole moves faster and I realize that I am the one moving it. Something deep inside calls me to stay perched on my precarious conveyance. I like the rhythm I set, and I vary it according to the whim of the moment. I can now take in the world about me while I skillfully manage the instrument that moves me through life.

This is a (night) dream I had about fifteen years ago. At that time I was making a renewed attempt at a childhood aspiration – writing. It’s not much of a leap to understand that my dream represented the feelings I had at that time, my pole acting as the (goals) dream of writing success.

Like a vaulter, I was relying on my pole for leverage, transferring all my energy into it in order to clear that hurdle of success. Unfortunately, I was missing my mark. It seemed there was no end to the negative responses. Each of my works were misfit children, unable to find a home. I anguished over their rejection.

I believe every writer starts here. Unless you are a super-talent who has successfully sold everything you write, you have started at the very same spot on the pole. Some of you are further along, some are at the beginning.

I’ve been fortunate to have experienced some success. I have made a good living from a technical writing job (although this currently isn’t the case). I’ve written an op-ed column for the local newspaper. I’ve written paying articles for other websites, and I’ve received affiliate income from my writing.

But the dream still continues to be a struggle.

Most of us experience trials as we pursue our writing, Whether we work from some inward need to express ourselves, or from a desire to make the world a better place to live, or as a parent who wants to spend time at home with their child while contributing to the household income, all of us hold a driving force that seeks expression.

Finding your voice, communicating in meaningful ways, maintaining the persistent attitude that keeps you coming back; these are all things we strive for every day. Every writer has a dream though no two are alike. Whatever your call is, it’s there for a purpose. Find your purpose and move it forward.

What are some of your trials? How do you overcome them? What is your purpose? What brings you back again and again? How do you find your voice? How do you attack writers’ block?

Shared experience is one of the tools of my success. It can be for you too. I would like to hear from you. If you have an experience or insight you’d like to share, please comment below.